


a quaking thunder (a rumble of the heart)

by junxouji



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Kyungsoo is just a good guy, M/M, Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 18:14:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6917860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji/pseuds/junxouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun once was broken but he found himself not in love but through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a quaking thunder (a rumble of the heart)

 

There was a  haunting  inside of him, as prominent as any limb on him. It was a series of heartbreaks and shattered dreams, buried deep within the underbelly of his insecurities. A constant ache in his sullen and boneless body. It was as evident as the blueish tint to the bags decorating underneath his dark, beautiful eyes with a thick prominenter of eyelashes that was almost effeminate.

 

A lot of  bad things have happened to Oh Sehun. A lot of things that make him feel undeserving and like there is a layer of hardened residue caking his moon washed skin. No matter how much scrubbing that pinkens the skin, he still feels that phantom cling to him with an urgency that makes him double over. 

 

There is a  hollowness to him. A darkness he cannot explain to him. Sehun is often too sad to kiss. To smile. To  pretend . There is the disappointment that flashes in his eyes because he doesn’t understand. He hasn’t even tried. Sehun knows he goes in the bathroom and has hushed conversation with girls. Pretty girls with slim waists, pale wrists, dark long hair, and prominent cupid bows. He comes out and makes excuses of why he has to go. Sehun is left in the warzone of his mind knowing when his boyfriend comes home he will smell like a woman.

 

He’s been unhappy for quite a long time. He doesn’t remember when it started. In fact, the sad part is he is not certain he’s ever been truly happy. That would require something to be happy about and as far as he is concerned he doesn’t think there is anything significant to even make him smile momentarily in his life. He doesn’t have a father nor a mother who cares. His boyfriend is unfaithful. His so called friends have their own problems.

 

He wants to grab onto someone and just beg them to listen. There is this thundering in his chest. It’s pleading for someone to just  try to listen to him, to  understand , to  love him. He cannot pour his sorrows into a bottle or a person. Sehun has gotten over that point. He just wants to stop feeling sorry for himself. He doesn’t want to feel dangerous anymore- like his heart is barbed and ready to take a bite of anyone who tries to get close.

 

Unceremoniously, he is dumped. It doesn’t hurt as much as he imagined it would nor does it surprise him at all. He supposes he should be grateful for the half assed excuses given that are directed accusingly at Sehun.

 

Sehun  almosts gives up. Until he sees a new person in the midst of his rambunctious friend group. Apparently, he was coworkers with Minseok hyung. At first he wasn’t going to give him a second glance. Upon first glance he is nothing out of the ordinary, or  so he thinks. A little on the short side, even. Sehun can only smile at himself as Cher’s  Life After Love plays in his head on cue when the male gives him a look and introduces himself as  Do Kyungsoo .

 

It really isn’t how about he looks. Sehun’s type had always been breathtakingly handsome and tall. The guys everyone liked. But something about Kyungsoo’s subtle charm is what draws him in. Thick brows, a confident jawline, and a smile that melts everything that is inside Sehun. What really attracts him like one of those comical cartoons of a mosquito to the zapper is the kindness that oozes out of Kyungsoo. 

 

Admittedly, he might be on the short side but he was more kindness in him per capita of his petite body than most people do three times his size. He takes an effort to get to know Sehun which is more than he can say about most. Not just the superficial things. But Sehun’s dreams. When the man first asks Sehun, it startles him.

 

He doesn’t know what he wants in life. He doesn’t have any dreams.

 

Would simply wishing to be happy to too easy?

 

Kyungsoo smiles at that. It’s nothing too beautiful. Lopsided, his eyes squint into crescents, and his crow's feet are more prominent. But it still takes the breath from Sehun’s lungs. It scares him. He hasn’t felt anything at that intensity in a long while.

 

Kyungsoo seems to know. He’s gentle with Sehun’s feelings. It starts slow and Sehun reckons this is where he was going wrong with other things. Delayed gratification. 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t treat him like an invalid. Rather, he’s gentle but not demeaning. Their friends make bets on when they will start dating. However, Kyungsoo is in no rush. Normally this would make Sehun insecure but somehow with Kyungsoo it feels easy.

 

He’s giving him time to heal, he realizes.

 

“You’re cute when you smile.” Kyungsoo admits one day taking Sehun’s bad on the rooftop of Sehun’s apartment building. They share a beer as they look out at the stars (or building lights - Sehun doesn’t think it matters because the brightest one is sitting next to him). “You should do it more often.”

 

His hand is warm but Sehun knows by now his heart is warmer.

 

He is there when Sehun feels bad as well. He doesn’t shrink away when Sehun has his moments of hysteria. Rather he embraces him and assures him those feelings are only momentary.

 

There are still the bad moments but they don’t feel as suffocating now. They ease up, feel less detrimental. Sehun is forever astounded by Kyungsoo’s kindness, patience, and love. It’s a wonderful feeling to know he would be accepted anyway he came. Sehun just happens to be packaged in simplicity. No flowing words of poetry or passionate outbursts of love. Just appreciation and gratitude knowing everything that Kyungsoo offers him is not something he has warranted. He doesn’t deserve him but he has him. A new type of thunder takes his chest, something that promises to bring many more moments of awe - that  yes even the broken can be loved. He isn’t loved into completeness because only Sehun can do that for himself. But Kyungsoo promises that every step Sehun takes into being more than simply  okay he will be right by his side. As a pillar, as a tattoo in his chest of warm feelings, and of course as his lover.

 


End file.
